F365 – Fergie’s ramblings

* “My greatest challenge is not what’s happening at the moment, my greatest challenge was knocking Liverpool right off their f**king perch. And you can print that” – Sir Fergie publishes his own epitaph in an interview with The Guardian accordingly printed in 2002.

* “I can now understand why clubs come away from Anfield choking on their own vomit and biting their tongues, knowing they have been done by the referee. It would be a miracle to win here” – Ferguson’s reaction to a 3-3 draw with Liverpool in 1987.

* “On you go. I’m no f**king talking to you. He’s a f**king great player. Youse are f**king idiots” – Ferguson doesn’t take kindly to journalists questioning the form of Juan Veron in 2002 and chucks them out of his press conference.

* “Kenny Dalglish has associates, but only a few friends. There’s nothing wrong with that because, at the end of the day, you only need six people to carry your coffin” – Ferguson’s guide to death, late 1990s.

* “He’s a novice. He’s come here from Japan and he’s telling English people how to organise our football. He should keep his mouth firmly shut” – Fergie offers Arsene Wenger a warm welcome to the Premiership in 1997.

* “I decided this man could not be trusted an inch. I would not want to expose my back to him in a hurry” – Sir Alex further endears himself to Gordon Strachan.

* “Our talk did not last long. I found him very hard work and quite surly” – Fergie’s recollection of his attempts to lure Alan Shearer to Old Trafford.

* “Rejection is an overrated hardship in football. So when Patrick Kluivert was so unimpressed by our approaches inn 1988 that he wouldn’t even do us the courtesy of talking to us, I had no trouble in believing that he was likely to be a bigger loser than us. As I write, there is a growing mountain of persuasive evidence that the Dutchman’s indifference indirectly did us a huge favour” – Ferguson wields a bitchy pen in his autobiography.

* “I don’t think anyone in the history of football will get the sentence Eric got unless they had killed Bert Millichip’s dog” – Ferguson’s considered reaction to Eric Cantona’s ban for attacking Crystal Palace supporter Matthew Simmons.

* “When an Italian tells me it’s pasta on the plate I check under the sauce to make sure it is” – Ferguson embraces diplomacy before ManYoo’s Champs League quarter-final against Inter Milan in 1999.

* “It keeps those f**kers from the media out” – Ferguson espouses the virtues of ManYoo’s ‘Fortress Carrington’ training-ground complex.

* “If there’s a prat in the world, he’s the prat” – Ferguson assesses the character of Jimmy Hill after the BBC pundit dared to suggest that Eric Cantona did not wear a halo.

* You’re a f***ing bottler Incey! You cannae handle the stage, can you? You are a f***ing bottler” – Extract from Sir Alex’s half-time ‘pep-talk’ in the Nou Camp in 1993 when ManYoo were battered by Barcelona.

* “They are the worst losers of all time” – Sir Alex’s gracious evaluation of Arsenal.

* “They say he’s an intelligent man, right? Speaks five languages. I’ve got a 15-year-old boy from the Ivory Coast speaks five languages” – Ferguson refuses to be impressed with the qualifications of Le Professor, Arsene Wenger.

* “I think Sven would have been a nice easy choice for them in terms of nothing really happens. He doesna change anything. He sails along, nobody falls out with him. ‘The first half we were good , second half we were not so good. I am very pleased with the result'” – Ferguson reveals his dissatisfaction with his proposed replacement at ManYoo before he took a u-turn over retirement four years ago.

* “You scumbag, you ratbag, you dirty bastard” – Fergie greets Paul Bosvelt after the final whistle of a Champions League tie in 1997 in which the Feyenoord midfielder had taken a lump out of Denis Irwin.

* “He could start a fight in an empty house” – Ferguson demands a unique scientific experiment to be conducted with Dennis Wise.

* “Back to your usual self Jeff, f**king useless” – Sir Alex Ferguson implores former Premiership referee Jeff Winter not to hang up his whistle.

* “Ashley Cole made you look a c**t” – Ferguson’s reported observation to David Beckham following an unsuccessful FA Cup date with Arsenal in 2003 before the ManYoo boss kicked out at a stray football date with dramatic and, for Beckham at least, painful consequences.

Pete Gill

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~ by badkow on November 9, 2006.

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