A plan is what I need. I am no more closer to finding the truth of life than I was when I first started searching for it. I guess this is why everyone finds it hard to express it and content themselves with dedicating their life to a cause.

That is one of the definitions of life you come across: people believing in something and working for it relentlessly all their life, only for it to be mocked at by higher life forms.

The reality is humans are not immortal. It is not to say being immortal is any more useful. I say 70 years on this planet is really enough. It must be an optimal time planned by the One(I will not say God because it is a term coined by wise ancestors and is meant for religious purposes or answering questions that do not have answers). Why would I say 70 years is enough? Purpose. A human throughout his life doesn’t know his purpose. Why is there so much ambiguity. Why are there so few rational answers. And how insignificant is a single human. Is living a life all about the ride or the end.

Anyway I should get back  to the plan before I deviate into paths that lead nowhere for now. I am confident as I grow, my wisdom will to0 and I get know more of the One’s big plan for us mortals.

The plan:

Forget speculation about the future.

If I want to be happy, I have to work towards what I want to become.

What do I want to become?

1. Have a great body. Be super fit. Run a lot.

2. Rich. Need money.

3. Learn the guitar. Though the start is the guitar, its really about wanting to express my thoughts through music. Go on to other instruments.

4. Read a lot of books. The elders know. I am the humble pupil.

5. Become dependable. Discipline. Fulfil responsibilities.

6. Learn a fighting art. Man was made to be aggressive and you need to learn the art.

Well. Its time for the plan.

Things I need to do:

1. Plan every weekend for the week ahead.

2. Plan every day. Life is not easy. Keep painting yourself a false picture and you are a dead fucking duck.

3. Make a diet plan. I know its not easy but being fit involves taking care of what you eat.

4. Ask others for help. Life is a lot about social interaction. The animal kingdom depends a lot on social interaction.

5. Practise the guitar everyday for 30 mins. One small step at a time.

6. Put off learning the fighting art till you make your own money.

7. Be a shark in academics. Enjoy the ride. Sweat now, reap the rewards later. Remember that you will get your reward, only it will be after a little while rather than an immediate one.

The last few years have literally breezed by me. So what was I doing in a technological institute, typing abstract java while looking at the pretty girl who sat across me in the lab. There were too many questions on a brain which seemed more keen on admiring the female species in the lab. And finally here I am, a qualified engineer with a second-class degree in hand.

I was wondering why I make the choices I make and whether God has a say in them. Then I wonder why we believe in God. I think people believe in God so they have a faith to follow; a system of rules without which they would be lost easily. These rules keep a person in check from wandering away from the realities of life and the practicalities of the world. In other words, they keep a person sane by making sure he doesnt surpass the limitations of a human mind.Why do people go mad? By ‘mad’ I mean not angry as commonly used nowadays but the real meaning of the word, become mentally unstable. It is when they cease to believe in the rationality of life or one of its enchantments. They either think about too many questions that their brain cannot accomodate or are obessed on something so trivial and irrational that they cannot comprehend the meaning of it.

Thinking too much is never good. There is a limit on how much your brain can handle and this is where faith comes in. It doesnt let you get lost in the complexities of life and provides answers to unanswerable questions, to those that simply choose to believe in them without seeking the rationality behind those answers.

I am still an amateur with regards to understanding life and me, how we are connected; And for what purpose has God given intelligence to only one species? Intelligence that I only fear will eventually lead to the destruction of this world. More on this later…